Good things come to those who wait...and pray... its true :)

I'm kinda loving god right now... I know it's REALLY selfish but I prayed and prayed for a new, better, awesomer boyfriend.... I prayed and prayed and prayed it would be my really awesome guy friend who ive had a crush on for a while, and I find out he likes me. is God telling me something? or is it just my over-active imagination... but honestly my mom said that she had been praying to god a lot for stuff and it had been happening and to tell you the truth i hadn't really been talking to god latelyso i decided to give it a try... i honestly think it worked :3.... soooo... yea!!!

more thoughts later

this feeling.....

I've felt it before.... damn it I have a crush again!!!! I guess it's not a bad thing since the guy I like likes me too... but it's weird because we're not going out yet. I guess this feeling's more anticipation than anything, the gut wrenching thing that when you like someone... it feels like something's tugging at your heart and soul, that warms your whole body from the tip of your head to the toes of your feet. it's wonderful, yet horrible at the same time... it's weird to explain actually.... but when I feel it I can't help but smile, but it still feels like a million knives stabbing me. it's a crazy paradox of feelings..... its so confusing xD

I know I know, i seem to post about guys i like a LOT on this blog.. but this is kinda a vent thing for me, not just for negative feelings, but wonderfully painful positive ones too! and I really didn't have anything to write about until now :P

changes

there are a LOT of changes in my life right now.... changes in health, who my friends are, and aren't. who they're dating... who I'M dating, who I like and dislike, grades lifestyle, the list goes on and on. But what I've found the REAL challenge with all this is is accepting change, it's hard. Change can just be simply going down a different hallway in school or as big as having to go to your dad's house every other weekend because your parents are separated. but any change in your life will effect you, weather positively or negatively is up to you. When me and my boyfriend split up he got a girlfriend REALLY fast (as I mentioned in my last blog post)BIG change for a teenage girl, right? but anyways I wanted to take it personally but I didn't ( it was REALLY hard not to tho!) but I still avoided my ex a lot so I changed where I sat at lunch and what hallways I go down so I don't run into him. I know it seems like a lot, but I've been a LOT happier since I made those changes, I don't have to worry about not making eye contact with him or having something to say if he decides to talk to me (which would REALLY stress me out and would bring my day down) but it's all been working out for me, just because of these changes! I've moved on to better people ;) and I'm SO pumped for the rest of my sophomore year!!

... just a side note: I'm SO sorry I haven't been posting regularly, sickness and catching up and school and drama (high school is full of it) has kept me super busy! soooo... I am gonna try my hardest to keep posting ( as regularly as I can) from now on... I love you guys! and thanks for reading <3

more thoughts later~