UGH! I did it again!

I TOTALLY forgot about blogging!!! I'msorryi'msorryi'mohsosorry!!!!!!!! unfortunately I haven't had anything exciting happening lately... I have a job.... oh! I've started this 5 week workout thing! (insert excited jazz hands here) I'm on week 2 now, the first week kinda kicked my butt but now its relatively easy... except the cardio workouts kick your butt.. and they can be extremely painful... yeah... soon I will be going on 7 months without a boyfriend.. I'm kinda proud of myself and kinda lonely at the same time it's like "hey! I've survived almost 7 months without a man! hear me roar!" combined with me having a hard time watching chick flicks cuz they ALWAYS LIVE FRIKKIN HAPPILY EVER AFTER....... WITH A MAN! and it's always... disappointing for me cus it's the whole "why can't I have that?" and you remind yourself it's only a movie but you still wanna have SOMETHING like that...UGH! yeah.... I'm gonna stop my ranting and move on to more important things now. unfortunately other than my guy problems I have nothing more to write about so.. ciao

Maybe Next to Normal...

so, I think I've had the most emotionally charged couple days that I've ever had in a VERY long time... I watched my friend run into the street trying to get hit by a car, I cried in her arms that night when she slept over because i was so scared for her but so thankful she was alive. I had a LOT of conversations about how families suck and shit like that, after a while I got really tired of it.. two days of just talking about other people and how THEY can feel better about themselves... I wanted to focus my energy on MYSELF...

That time came last night, my mom and I went to see Next to Normal, the musical I've been addicted to for the past year... It was.... Amazing... like, it was so amazing I dunno how to put it into words. It was the most powerful and just superb musical ever.. I guess it helps that I had an emotional connection to the musical before ever watching it. My mom cried like a baby for the first act, I cried like a baby for the second act. but it wasn't sad crying, well, at least not for me. I cried because I was thankful, I was thankful that someone had captured what my life was like.. almost perfectly.. It was like "woah, someone understands, all these people who are sobbing their eyes out all understand.. I'm not alone here!" I know I wasn't alone in my situation but the experience kind of validated my feelings and also made me think "thank you god for not letting me be in that situation anymore" It was... AMAZING.... so yeah... EVERYONE should see this musical! I love it even more since I've seen it, I have a much deeper connection with the music now... yeah... now I'm just blabbing like a dork now..

more thoughts later~

sleepy + boredom = blogging

so... I'm trying to blog more often.. let's do this thang!

Well, it's a weekend at my dad's house.. I have no phone (I lost it...) and no Dr. Who.. (terrible, I know!) so, I guess I'm dedicating my weekend to a kinda "find out who I truly am" kinda thing... I've been exploring music and stuff like that, just trying to find out who I am... I'm actually questioning my faith and I'm discovering how very hippie-like I am!.. but seriously.. It's really strange, it's like I'm basically challenging my very existence.. I'm also finding that I'm NOT going to stay in my little town once I'm done with school.. I just don't fit here, my town is full of conformists and honestly, I hate it. I'm even starting to hate the cloths, the music, and some of the people, they're all the same. Since I visited NYC last summer... it's like how I see things is totally different, I know what else is out there, ugh.. it's so hard to explain while I'm so tired.. maybe if I sleep I can do a better job writing stuff... I'll get back to you on this subject!
(PS: I'm closing in on 100 posts!!! ahaha i feel like I should celebrate or something!)

Wow!

Today was THE LAST DAY OF CLASSES! that's right, I no longer have to wake up at 5:30 to do my hair and makeup (well, not for 3 more months anyway) I no longer have to deal with drama with friends EVERY DAY! I can do whatever I damn well please!(within the legal limits/what my mom approves of) I still have 2 exams I have to take Monday, but nothing else, I'm free! I'm free!~

But today was a pretty awesome last day of school, there's a substitute teacher that kind of made my day though. In study hall this guy, Mr. Wiley (who reminds me of a leprechaun) came in and started playing the piano and it was some songs I knew, so me and a bunch of people were singing songs ALL study hall and it made me extremely happy. Ah, the little things in life :)

I'm also somewhat angry, my choir teacher said that she'd post the results of the ensemble audition after school today. And after shaking from anticipation ALL of my last period class and SPRINTING to see the results.... nothing.... no results.... someone went and asked why they didn't post them and they said "well, we're not comfortable releasing the results yet" *insert oh poor me sigh here* I'd just like to know: if you have the results, and you KNOW that a LOT of the people who auditioned are excused from exams (because we're smart) WHYYYYY wouldn't you post them on THE LAST DAY OF CLASSES?!?!?!?!?!?! now I have to wait ALL weekend, and knowing the people in charge, they won't post the results until TUESDAY! and I don't have exams Tuesday!!! *groans* oh the agony! the anticipation! you should have seen all the disappointed faces when they saw NO RESULTS.... we just kind of stood there for a while... just wishing that they might come over and post the results... ah F****.... but other than that disappointment I'm in a pretty good mood! now I just need to find something to do tomorrow because none of my friends are excused from tomorrows exams and apparently my sister doesn't have to go to school.... so I might possibly go insane from lack of entertainment, OR from my sister driving me loco! so... pray for my poor soul... please...