so for the duration of my 4 day weekend this is what I've done:
Hung out with a friend
went to a sweet 16 birthday party at chuck-e-cheese's
stuffed my face with candy
won $2 in my dads easter egg hunt
got a job at a local greenhouse (yay!)
but what I spent the most time doing, out of ANYTHING here... because I'm a dork and am still trying to grow out of my antisocial-ness (but this does not help in ANY way)... is watching Dr. Who... I love that show, I really do.. the writers are brilliant and often make my jaw drop at how creative they are..I for one am NOT a fan of alien movies or believe in aliens or am an alien fanatic/enthusiast. But I AM a fan of a hot guy traveling through time and space in a blue police box that's bigger on the inside because it's a Time And Relative Dimension In Space (TARDIS) and saving the universe from alien invasions or other things that are (in our world) impossible... yeah... I wouldn't mind THAT being reality.. but I think in the duration of this 4 day weekend I saw the end of the universe... I think around 3 times... saw the ending I always wanted for a certain character (but not at all in the way I expected it) and basically satisfied my extreme dorkiness...well, time to go to school!
more thoughts later <3
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Good friday
hello blog!
it's been nearly a week since I've last written (but I've thought of writing several times) but before I write anything important, my modeling audition was a scam and a waste of 5+ hours... shame :'(
So today is a day known to my catholic family as Good Friday, which is why I think basically all schools get today off, so we can pray. We're praying today 'cuz Jesus died on this day. What's supposed to happen (in the Catholic tradition) is today is a day of fasting and prayer and at 3 pm we are silent and then pray on the Rosary "for the sake of his sorrowful passion". But since my straight laced Catholic family is really no longer a seriously practicing Catholic family since my parents got divorced, my mom's taking the kids to day care so she can go to work, I'm going to a friends house and my sister is at my dads house. So on my end, I'm gonna be having a grand old time stuffing my face and being a crazy person while the rest of my religion mourns the death of Jesus. Yeah, thats just the way I roll I guess...
Another thing that I'd like to tell you bolg is out of all my friends I'm the only one that's gone for almost 4 months w/o dating ANYONE... and I'm kinda lonely I guess. Sure, I have the company of my awesome friends but.. I kinda would like to have a boyfriend again... someone who's not a jerk.. yeah....
more thoughts later
it's been nearly a week since I've last written (but I've thought of writing several times) but before I write anything important, my modeling audition was a scam and a waste of 5+ hours... shame :'(
So today is a day known to my catholic family as Good Friday, which is why I think basically all schools get today off, so we can pray. We're praying today 'cuz Jesus died on this day. What's supposed to happen (in the Catholic tradition) is today is a day of fasting and prayer and at 3 pm we are silent and then pray on the Rosary "for the sake of his sorrowful passion". But since my straight laced Catholic family is really no longer a seriously practicing Catholic family since my parents got divorced, my mom's taking the kids to day care so she can go to work, I'm going to a friends house and my sister is at my dads house. So on my end, I'm gonna be having a grand old time stuffing my face and being a crazy person while the rest of my religion mourns the death of Jesus. Yeah, thats just the way I roll I guess...
Another thing that I'd like to tell you bolg is out of all my friends I'm the only one that's gone for almost 4 months w/o dating ANYONE... and I'm kinda lonely I guess. Sure, I have the company of my awesome friends but.. I kinda would like to have a boyfriend again... someone who's not a jerk.. yeah....
more thoughts later
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Goals and ASL
Hello my dear an lovely blog!
This weekend has been one of those weekends that you expect to do nothing but find out you'll hardly be home... yeah, other than yesterday I've had a pretty busy weekend and today will definitely be the busiest and what sucks is I have to finish up my english project stuff but I don't have time! (GRAWR!) I'll probably have another night staying up until 11:30 or so working on this project (dear God I hope not) But I REALLY don't wanna be a zombie again on Monday :/
Since I last posted I've made a couple goals (both involve my mother) I want to take a yoga class with her and I want to learn ASL with her. The first goal was inspired by a TV show my family and I enjoy watching and the other was inspired last night.
Last night my mom took me and my little sister, Mary (not the evil one), to see a deaf storyteller (the guy had an interpreter). Her main reason for going was for business, she's the project manager (or something along those lines) for a deaf study at Kent state University, so she was gonna hand out fliers and stuff at the end. The place was packed with both deaf and hearing people to see this storyteller, the show opened with a deaf choir signing to "I believe I can fly", it was really great, I was really impressed with the soul they put into a song that they couldn't hear. Then after a long introduction the storyteller came out, he was AMAZING!He told us all these hilarious stories and had a couple little skits that involved some of the deaf (or people that could sign) in the audience. This man was so inspiring, he had so much energy and emotion and everyone loved him, during most of his stories I was almost crying from laughing so hard, but I felt that I could've gotten more out of the experience if I understood sign language. So at the end of the show my mom was looking for some people she knew were deaf from other events she went to and asked me to hand a flier to a deaf kid that was in one of the skits, so I did and I was able to sign to him "I don't know ASL" and he said he knew and I handed him the flier and said something to his friend (who my mom gave a flier to earlier) I'm pretty sure he asked if they got money from doing the study and his friend said yes and they both got really excited. It was so strange there though, it was like culture shock.. there were hundreds of conversations going on at once but hardly any sound other than the non- deaf people talking. and after every skit the applause was silent because we were waving our hands like jazz hands to represent applause instead of actually clapping. it was actually really cool.
But now my dear blog, I need to go worship god for an hour or so, go to Kent, go to my modeling audition and THEN look at colleges some more with my mom. wish me luck~!
more thoughts later
This weekend has been one of those weekends that you expect to do nothing but find out you'll hardly be home... yeah, other than yesterday I've had a pretty busy weekend and today will definitely be the busiest and what sucks is I have to finish up my english project stuff but I don't have time! (GRAWR!) I'll probably have another night staying up until 11:30 or so working on this project (dear God I hope not) But I REALLY don't wanna be a zombie again on Monday :/
Since I last posted I've made a couple goals (both involve my mother) I want to take a yoga class with her and I want to learn ASL with her. The first goal was inspired by a TV show my family and I enjoy watching and the other was inspired last night.
Last night my mom took me and my little sister, Mary (not the evil one), to see a deaf storyteller (the guy had an interpreter). Her main reason for going was for business, she's the project manager (or something along those lines) for a deaf study at Kent state University, so she was gonna hand out fliers and stuff at the end. The place was packed with both deaf and hearing people to see this storyteller, the show opened with a deaf choir signing to "I believe I can fly", it was really great, I was really impressed with the soul they put into a song that they couldn't hear. Then after a long introduction the storyteller came out, he was AMAZING!He told us all these hilarious stories and had a couple little skits that involved some of the deaf (or people that could sign) in the audience. This man was so inspiring, he had so much energy and emotion and everyone loved him, during most of his stories I was almost crying from laughing so hard, but I felt that I could've gotten more out of the experience if I understood sign language. So at the end of the show my mom was looking for some people she knew were deaf from other events she went to and asked me to hand a flier to a deaf kid that was in one of the skits, so I did and I was able to sign to him "I don't know ASL" and he said he knew and I handed him the flier and said something to his friend (who my mom gave a flier to earlier) I'm pretty sure he asked if they got money from doing the study and his friend said yes and they both got really excited. It was so strange there though, it was like culture shock.. there were hundreds of conversations going on at once but hardly any sound other than the non- deaf people talking. and after every skit the applause was silent because we were waving our hands like jazz hands to represent applause instead of actually clapping. it was actually really cool.
But now my dear blog, I need to go worship god for an hour or so, go to Kent, go to my modeling audition and THEN look at colleges some more with my mom. wish me luck~!
more thoughts later
Sunday, April 10, 2011
my weekend
so, my friend came over Thursday night because she got kicked out of her house (read previous post) and I haven't blogged since then... it wasn't bad, she told me what happened and it made me completely lose respect for a girl I had hardly any respect for, I won't reveal any details, but what she did was low and if I could punch hard and could deal with the guilt of punching someone I would knock her out, but because I can do neither I just have to live with the fact that she's a bitch.
But other than my piece of drama there I really have done nothing special this weekend. It really only consisted of sleeping, eating, and watching Dr. Who. and even then I didn't eat much (I think like 3 "meals" it was pathetic.) But if you know me, I DO enjoy Dr. Who... a lot.. I am a proud dork who is a not quite, but kinda is, fanatic of that show. It's really the only thing that makes me look forward to a weekend at my dad's.. pathetic... I might go crazy if he keeps us so locked up in his house..
But Dr. Who.. a British TV show that hardly anyone has heard of has somewhat kept my sanity (a.k.a I don't wanna tear someone's head off from the intense boredom of my father's house)But this is a show you either love or hate, so obviously.. I love it.. It kinda just lets my mind wander and let my imagination create it's own stories and basically... keep me from killing someone.. but when I watch it I think "ah I wish I had a British accent... British accents are hot..." btw I totally have the hots for the two guys that play the main characters in the two latest seasons... gosh I'm a dork.... I WOULD LOVE TO MARRY/DATE A BRITISH GUY!!!! <3
more thoughts later~
But other than my piece of drama there I really have done nothing special this weekend. It really only consisted of sleeping, eating, and watching Dr. Who. and even then I didn't eat much (I think like 3 "meals" it was pathetic.) But if you know me, I DO enjoy Dr. Who... a lot.. I am a proud dork who is a not quite, but kinda is, fanatic of that show. It's really the only thing that makes me look forward to a weekend at my dad's.. pathetic... I might go crazy if he keeps us so locked up in his house..
But Dr. Who.. a British TV show that hardly anyone has heard of has somewhat kept my sanity (a.k.a I don't wanna tear someone's head off from the intense boredom of my father's house)But this is a show you either love or hate, so obviously.. I love it.. It kinda just lets my mind wander and let my imagination create it's own stories and basically... keep me from killing someone.. but when I watch it I think "ah I wish I had a British accent... British accents are hot..." btw I totally have the hots for the two guys that play the main characters in the two latest seasons... gosh I'm a dork.... I WOULD LOVE TO MARRY/DATE A BRITISH GUY!!!! <3
more thoughts later~
Thursday, April 7, 2011
what to do?
My gosh, this is gonna be a crazy night... I got a call on my phone while I was geeking out playing Kingdom hearts on my DS from one of my friends: "hey, I'm with so-and-so and she got kicked out of her house, can she come over?" I remember hearing my mom say a few months ago "I will always welcome your friends if they need a safe house, but only for 24 hours." so I say I'll ask my mom, she says yes so I just finished frantically cleaning my room in order for her to be able to see my floor and/or sleep on my floor... I hope this goes well... she's one of those people that can stay up all night and still go to school, I need 7 hours minimum to function.... I also wake up at 5 am to get ready.... yeah.....
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
spoke too soon...
So earlier today I posted that there wasn't really any drama going on in my life, gosh, I shouldn't say things like that.. it's like I jinxed the no-dramaness of my life....
It's not really any type of conflict with my friends, it's a conflict inside myself. I have this problem that I need to feel accepted, always, or at least comfortable with my surroundings. This evening I felt neither, I felt like a 3rd wheel.. I was invited to go skating with some of my good friends.. basically some of my BEST friends. all of them had dates, and of course I didn't, so basically I'm skating by myself. sometimes my friends come up behind me and poke me or something, but they get bored with me because I'm not a super fast skater OR they're more occupied with their date. Suddenly the gut wrenching feeling of "oh my gosh, I'm a 3rd wheel and I don't know anyone else here at all, what am I gonna do?!" I freak out very quickly and self-judge myself a lot so this soon became a spiral downwards of negativeness, loneliness, and I guess I just got scared because a voice inside me started saying "you're not welcome here, no one wants you here, get out you waste of space" etc. etc. etc.... I seriously thought I was just gonna go into the bathroom and cry, that would've been VERY bad because if my friends saw me I'd have to explain that I was basically acting like a 3 year old that wanted attention and didn't get her way. So I tried to suck it up and tried to have a good time skating (skating's really relaxing for me) but I just kept feeling worse and worse until I thought I was gonna toss my cookies from trying to hold in all these emotions... so I called my mom to come pick me up. some of my friends saw me taking my skates off and asked if I was leaving and not to go and when I said no they just left and kept skating (which is fine with me because I didn't want to make up anything and dig myself in a hole)
so now as I type my self-pitying words to either my faithful readers or just cyber space, I bid you all goodnight. sorry for this completely terrible post, I needed to vent very badly!
more thoughts later~
It's not really any type of conflict with my friends, it's a conflict inside myself. I have this problem that I need to feel accepted, always, or at least comfortable with my surroundings. This evening I felt neither, I felt like a 3rd wheel.. I was invited to go skating with some of my good friends.. basically some of my BEST friends. all of them had dates, and of course I didn't, so basically I'm skating by myself. sometimes my friends come up behind me and poke me or something, but they get bored with me because I'm not a super fast skater OR they're more occupied with their date. Suddenly the gut wrenching feeling of "oh my gosh, I'm a 3rd wheel and I don't know anyone else here at all, what am I gonna do?!" I freak out very quickly and self-judge myself a lot so this soon became a spiral downwards of negativeness, loneliness, and I guess I just got scared because a voice inside me started saying "you're not welcome here, no one wants you here, get out you waste of space" etc. etc. etc.... I seriously thought I was just gonna go into the bathroom and cry, that would've been VERY bad because if my friends saw me I'd have to explain that I was basically acting like a 3 year old that wanted attention and didn't get her way. So I tried to suck it up and tried to have a good time skating (skating's really relaxing for me) but I just kept feeling worse and worse until I thought I was gonna toss my cookies from trying to hold in all these emotions... so I called my mom to come pick me up. some of my friends saw me taking my skates off and asked if I was leaving and not to go and when I said no they just left and kept skating (which is fine with me because I didn't want to make up anything and dig myself in a hole)
so now as I type my self-pitying words to either my faithful readers or just cyber space, I bid you all goodnight. sorry for this completely terrible post, I needed to vent very badly!
more thoughts later~
Here is a list...
...of things I've done lately:
Wrote positive things on my desk and see if anyone would respond
Told someone they inspired me
Tried to pick out the notes of a song so I could sing my part correctly in choir
came to my school 5 hours after school to learn how to dance
FINALLY got the family computer back (and fixed) HALLELUJAH!
went to an art museum
went to a soda fountain and tried something I've never had before
went to a dog adoption place and pet adorable puppies
got a cavity filled and dealt with half my face being numb for almost all day
complained about people a LOT
so yeah! that's a list of just SOME of the things I've done lately :)
My choir(s) have started May Fiesta and I've been doing a LOT of dancing, I love it because the dances are SO easy compared to the musical so I kinda "show off" but yeah, it's super fun and I really don't know what to say anymore because really there hasn't been very much drama in my life lately (which is a good thing!)
more thoughts later~
Wrote positive things on my desk and see if anyone would respond
Told someone they inspired me
Tried to pick out the notes of a song so I could sing my part correctly in choir
came to my school 5 hours after school to learn how to dance
FINALLY got the family computer back (and fixed) HALLELUJAH!
went to an art museum
went to a soda fountain and tried something I've never had before
went to a dog adoption place and pet adorable puppies
got a cavity filled and dealt with half my face being numb for almost all day
complained about people a LOT
so yeah! that's a list of just SOME of the things I've done lately :)
My choir(s) have started May Fiesta and I've been doing a LOT of dancing, I love it because the dances are SO easy compared to the musical so I kinda "show off" but yeah, it's super fun and I really don't know what to say anymore because really there hasn't been very much drama in my life lately (which is a good thing!)
more thoughts later~
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