how?

soo... just kinda but not really "venting" this isn't an angry vent just a release of pent of feelings I've needed to express ;)

I saw you every day, I guess we became friends.. you were in almost EVERY class I had. how COULDN'T I notice you? you're crazy funny immatureness, teasing me, poking me during class, even flirting with me..how COULDN'T I notice you? but we couldn't come close like I wanted, you were dating someone, if I interfered it would've ended horribly.. it was just good enough for me to see you happy every day. or so I thought. you charmed me, I dunno how, you just did. How COULDN'T I notice you? And this hasn't been a passing fancy, I've liked you since the first day of my Freshman year, haha if you only knew how I felt.. you're honestly not the type of person I normally like.. but I'm not exactly NORMAL, neither are you. so how COULDN'T I notice you? you're so carefree, I wish I could be as free as you. laughing and really meaning it... LOVING someone and really meaning it... every time I would see you and your girlfriend together I would feel a horrible pain, I was jealous, how is it you two could stay so long together? so happy? I'm not a person to be jealous easily so I'd feel guilty about that too! how come you could tear me apart so much? cause me so much pain? grief? but... How COULDN'T I notice you?? when I saw you and your girlfriend broke up I was so happy (afterwards I felt REALLY guilty for feeling happy) but why would you date ME? I'm average, completely average, everything you know about me is AVERAGE. I guess my singing is a tad above average.. but what's in a voice? what would that do to help me get noticed by you?? I doubt it would do anything at all.. because other than that I have average looks, average cloths, average personality, just average compared to HER! I wish you could see me, heck, I wish I could see me as who I really am! I can be carefree and happy and pretty and caring just like any other person, but you just see me when we tease each other in class, making funny faces at each other and you"insulting" me while I "insult" you back. I loved spending time with you, but now that the new school year will start soon there's a chance I'll never see you again.. or not anytime soon.. HOW COULDN'T i NOTICE YOU??????