Final note on the Funeral

So, today was the actual funeral.. the mass was good, I got to sing. Lunch was good too, cousins were crazy as always. My boyfriend was there to support me, but I actually was fine until the burial (which I told him he couldn't come to :P). but thanks so much for supporting me today!

The burial was great, Grandpa got a 21 gun salute because he was a Vietnam soldier. Someone played the traditional trumpet song when people die. They gave grandma an American flag, folded into a triangle. I started crying when the soldier gave a mini speech while he presented it to grandma. afterwards we went to grandma's house and ate and she seemed a lot better.

Grandpa, you'll be missed. I love you, hope you're having a good time in heaven watching those baseball games :)

Gone, but not forgotten...

Hey, just got back from Grandpa's calling hours... it was sad, but kinda happy at the same time :) I cried a LOT at the beginning (and I saw my cousin cry for the first time in my life) but I got to talk to some people I haven't talked to in years and it was great, we were talking about grandpa and I just felt really happy after that.. I actually had the courage to kneel up against his casket and touch his face... dead people feel weird O.o like.... wax..... it's just so strange to see someone's dead body too because they look so different then when they were alive.

I also learned you seriously can't take things for granted... EVER! I kinda regret not seeing grandpa in the hospital before he died :/ mom said I would but I didn't believe her.

I wrote a song about how you don't know what you have until it's gone back when my parents were separating and I was surrounded by a bunch of people who were taking their things for granted, it frustrated me so I wrote a song :P

but anyways, Grandpa was an amazing person, and he will never be forgotten. he was a great soldier, husband, father, grandfather and brother.. I love you grandpa

Don't forget...

to check out my youtube channel~!!! I DO take requests and once I get my new mic. I'm gonna post a bunch of songs :D

http://www.youtube.com/user/BlackRoseMK

^that's the link I love incite on how to improve my quality (no flaming please)

I really enjoy doing this and I can't wait to continue uploading songs :D

An answer

so back to my "what if" questions... my friend Brent was talking to me and said something that I'll probably remember forever

"ur "what if" questions can only be ancwerd in one way "if you didnt do all that it would take you down a diffrent path but would that path be a happy one for you or is this one :)"

Brent, I'm pretty sure it's this one. even if my posts seem a tad depressing I'm SO much happier than I was last year! Like it's crazy how much happier I am, even with all this crazy stuff going on I can still keep smiling because I have a group of amazing friends who have stuck by me through this crazy time I'm going through... this means a lot to me because last year I didn't have such good friends. my friends would stick with me when they needed me and they all ended up hating me in the end, I'm still not talking to a lot of them xD but it's just amazing how this has all worked out.

And thank you to all my good friends (you know who you are~!) I love you guys!!!

Have you ever..

Have you ever yelled at someone until it hurts?

Have you ever cried until you puked?

Have you ever wished that someone you hated would fall into a hole and die?

Have you ever regretted saying that?

Have you ever injured someone, Physically or Mentally?

Have you ever BEEN injured like that?

Have you ever had a brilliant idea?

Have you ever thought it was horribly stupid later?

Have you ever been in the middle of a parents separation?

Have you ever had to act like an adult for years?

Have you ever been hated?

Have you ever been loved?

Have you ever thought there was no way things could get worse?

Have you ever found out they can?

Have you ever had everyone you know turned against you?

Have you ever fought back?

these are just SOME things I could throw out there (all have happened to me :P)

yeah... I think it's kinda REALLY depressing.. but it's just some random thoughts I've had :P

kinda like a "what if" moment... but they've all already happened to me.. so is "a flashback" the right word then? but anyways... I'll get my thoughts all happy again (I'm normally a super happy peppy person [say THAT 10 times fast!]) but I guess I just need some time to get my depressing thoughts outta the way so you don't have to feel sad every time you're done reading a post :P

thanks to everyone that's read this far! I hope you'll continue to read my stuff!!

Depressing news...

So yesterday at 3 pm, my grandpa died of cancer.... he was 70 years old and I loved him a lot... his wake's Tuesday and his Funeral's Wednesday. Thank you everyone who's supporting me, I dunno what I'd do without you all :)

It's so weird that you take things, and people for granted. I've had a lot of "what if" moments lately.. like "what if I stayed at my private school?" "what if I chose a different group of friends?" stuff like that. and don't get me wrong, I'm not an uber deep thinker but it's just kinda scary to think "where would I be if I didn't do this?" and imagine how much worse/better off you would've been if you did/didn't do what you did... ok now I'm getting confusing :P that's what I get for blogging half asleep...

so anyways, when I get my video camera back I'm probably gonna do a vlog or two and I should probably get SOME publicity of some sort so some people read this xD

Good night Blogspot!

Starting off..

Hey :) welcome to my blog!
If you're reading this you're either someone I forced to read this or you just stumbled across this while surfing the web... either way, hope you enjoy what you're about to read cuz I honestly dunno how this is gonna turn out!

well, I'm a singer... I LOVE to sing~! I have a youtube account (BlackRoseMK check it out!) but since my microphone broke (I sat on it and it snapped in two...) I haven't posted anything recently.
I'm learning Spanish and Japanese, two very awesome languages. and I like to act to :D

My life isn't REALLY exciting but it's not boring, oh no.... haha I've had a pretty wild ride the past year or two... my parents separated, I went to a private school, but didn't like it after 2 years, started at my public high school as the new girl and made lots of frends :)

so if you're not interested in any way about this blog, you honestly don't have to keep reading after this! (this is my 3rd attempt on a blog) But I just wanna put my thoughts and words out on the world wide web.

Love it? Hate it? let me know if anyone's actually reading this and COMMENT!!!!! please!!!! :D