Friends

Friends are really a blessing, I love my friends... they've been so good to me, even when I'm super annoying, I wanna say I REALLY don't deserve them, but without them I'd be so freaking lost and depressed! I'm so glad I have them, even if they flat out tell me something I don't wanna hear, they're (almost) always right in the end.

My friends are the greatest gifts I have,I ALWAYS have someone I can talk to if I need help, someone to make me smile when I'm feeling down, or someone to lean on when I need strength.

But sometimes friends move on, it's part of growing up and it always happens. sometimes it's from a fight, or they move, or you just lose contact.

this year I made a bunch of great friends, these are REAL friends, the ones that'll stick by you no matter what, and I love all of them, really, you guys are the best and I wouldn't trade our friendship for ANYTHING!!! not even if I got a big company to make me a famous singer or if I got to play a main part in a Broadway production.. these are BIG dreams for me, but if I had to choose between that and my friendship with you all I'd rather be with you guys :)

luv ya~!

prejudice and dysfunction

so.. being in New York got me thinking... why is it in new york city it's so inviting, you can be who you want and no one really makes a big deal out of it but in North Canton it's a HUGE deal if you're gay or dress a "weird" way or talk "funny" or aren't super rich or don't walk talk and act like everyone else on the planet? I think this is a horrible way to live, especially for the "weird" kids (A.K.A me) we're NOT that weird, we express ourselves differently, that's really all the difference. building on this subject I wanna talk about dysfunction: dictionary term-dys·func·tion also dis·func·tion (dĭs-fŭngk'shən) n. Abnormal or impaired functioning, especially of a bodily system or social group. I REALLY want to stress on this. EVERYONE is dysfunctional, I know, hard to hear.. right? I'm VERY dysfunctional, you're dysfunctional, your friends are dysfunctional, your parents are dysfunctional.. it's the cold hard truth. I have yet to meet a single family that is not dysfunctional. but we all choose to express our dysfunction in some way. I'm a control freak, I seek constant approval from my friends and peers... pretty bad, huh? but there are other ways people express dysfunction: constant use of cellphones and computers, sugar,food,sex drugs and alcohol addictions, spending money, breaking the law, constantly being in relationships, people pleasing,anorexia, bulimia, constantly exercising being a perfectionist..I could go on and on and on. if you don't fit into ANY of those (which you might not) maybe some of your friends do this. ALL of these are good... IN MODERATION but this is what's called "medication" it's how you make yourself high.. in a sense, it helps you feel better in some way, gives you control, but too much can lead to problems.. I'm not trying to be preachy, but I had NO idea about ANY of this until last year, my mom, who's in her mid- 40's had NO idea about this last year, but it's helped me, because it's not just me who goes through this, EVERYONE does. so I'm not better off than anybody and not worse off than anybody. but I've also learned that people LIKE to think of themselves as better than everyone because they feel bad, maybe even horrible about themselves, I've experienced it, and probably so have you.

NEWSFLASH: Normal is only a guideline, subject to interpretation. we are all unique. "normal" should not be used to portray a lifestyle or personality!

lots of people would disagree with my statement, I would have disagreed before I started at Hoover myself, especially since I live in such a small community. but once you leave the boundaries of North Canton Ohio you start to realize how wonderful "different" or "weird" people are, how "normal" can really just become a useless word, because honestly no one's normal. we're all entirely bonkers, all the best people are :)

super short NYC

I've been neglecting my blog because my younger sister keeps getting grounded from the computer "why can't YOU use the computer?" you might ask... because my sister ALWAYS finds a way to use it so when she's around NO ONE can use it.... at all! it sucks, I know...

ANYWAYS... on to NYC

(last) Thursday I saw West side story which was absolutely amazing, Tony (main male lead) was stunning, I almost melted in my second row mezzanine seat (good seat) HE was gorgeous, his VOICE was gorgeous, his ACTING was gorgeous... it was all around amazing :D

next day we went to a college to meet one of my dad's friend's who lives in Brooklyn, she was awesome (love you Jane!!) she showed us around, we didn't have any subway confusion because she knew EXACTLY how to get EVERYWHERE :D

Times square is awesome, Ellis Island is awesome, the food in china town is awesome and the statue of liberty was awesome.... yes, a VERY short summary of my trip but if you have questions e-mail me. I LOVE NYC it is the place to be, visit it before you die... it's such an american city, you can be who you want and I LOVE it :D

before I continue

ok, I'm not going to continue my NYC story just yet.

There are some people who are upset with my opinions about a certain person you know what? I gave the person a chance, no, there's nothing wrong with the person, but I DID give them a chance and they failed. I'm NOT going to be their friend, I'm not going to try either. I'm done, given up, moved on, end of story. please respect my feelings and opinions, because you can't change me. as quoted from one of my favorite books "a good opinion once lost is lost forever" this person has moved on and so have I. let's not bring back old problems and hurts. what's done is done. so, I think I've sold past the cloths a bit now..

thanks for reading and I'll be posting my pictures from NYC on facebook and blogging about it slowly but.. it's gonna happen :)

NYC days 1 and 2

so I got to New York yesterday at around 4:30, John (one of our friends) welcomed us very nicely :) we made dinner and waited for susie to come back from work. we ate a VERY big dinner. and we all talked until almost midnight.

I woke up this morning and we ate breakfast, went to BJ's and came back. suzie called and me and Jeri got tickets to see West Side Story on BROADWAY! this is gonna be my FIRST Broadway show!!!! I'm SO excited :D I'll post how that goes later :)

so Dad wanted to take me to a New York Deli, the one he used to go to when he was a kid. we got horribly lost and we went through the whole, "you should ask directions" "no, if we get REALLY lost, I have my Tomtom!" so, we got REALLY lost and we pulled out the Tomtom... no GPS signal.... that was an "Oh shit..." moment we just kept driving and we FINALLY got a signal, we were almost to the Deli and my dad wasn't paying attention and almost ran through a red light, he slammed his breaks REALLY hard and... the breaks die... he still had enough to not kill us. we made it to the Deli and I had the most amazing roast beef sandwich on the face of this planet. I swear when I go back to the Ohio Deli my stomach will be crying for the amazing half pound of rare roast beef with mayo and lettuce and salt and pepper on a Kaiser bagel. yummmmm :)

so YEAH! we're at Mcdonalds now, I'm using my dad's computer to post this and all's well with the world, I wouldn't replace this with ANYTHING!

tonight west side story, tomorrow our tour of the city :)

Updates, Arguments, and Lyrics!

so, I'm at my dad's house, just finished watching glee.. best show EVER!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show!!! soo ANYWAYS my day has been super utterly boring. this weekend jojo AND rachel spent the night, I had my audition I kicked some serious butt, had a mini mental breakdown and re-organized my room (which looks totally awesome now :D)

ok, my subject today is what I don't get about people.. is it just me or do some people like to just bring old stuff up to tick other people off? because it happens to me a bit and no one likes it, like.. at ALL! and thy start pointless arguments just so they can be right, even if they're completely wrong. but what I don't get MOST about people is how they can talk about me thinking I don't hear about what they're saying online OR offline. it REALLY gets me PO'ed.. I honestly think the majority of the reason they do stuff like this is for attention.. but I'm not them and I can't read their minds.. it just REALLY gets me AND others PO'ed I guess this is a kinda sorta warning/ Public service announcement to all the stupid people out there that don't know when to stop annoying the crap outta people

done with that venting now!

so, I wrote a song a LONG time ago (last year) and it stuck with me, I have piano chords and all that and it sounds good but I'm stuck on the bridge/ending
nut ANYWAYS here's the lyrics:

There's a time in your life
when all your light
seems to fade away
and you hope and you wish for those dreams to come true
but they seem to fade away

and you took all those things for granted
and now your friends are gone
you didn't realize 'till it's too late
you don't know what you have until it's gone
you don't know what you have until it's gone

you wait in distress for your hero to come
but he never shows
you forgot your coat and it starts to snow
you thought you'd do it alone

but you took all those things for granted
and now you're freezing cold
you didn't realize 'till it's too late
you don't know what you have until it's gone
you don't know what you have until it's gone

(some kind of bridge)

And you took all those things for granted
now it's all gone
you didn't realize 'till it's too late
you don't know what you have until it's gone
you don't know what you have until it's gone
you don't know what you have until it's gone...

corny lyrics, huh? I wrote this during a really rough time in my life. all my friends were gone and some other complications and I had basically next to nothing. you don't really appreciate what you have until you have nothing... so.. yeah! I'll be posting stuff in my free time in NYC (hopefully!)

thanks for reading!!

sleepovers and awesomeness

so, jojo slept over last night so I had to clean my room (it looks freakin amazing :D) and I found a tube of black lipstick from Halloween and we decided to put it on and take a bunch of pictures! I found out I can really pull it off and I look pretty damn hot in it :D haha it was great!! so now we're waiting to go to the local ice cream stand to meet everyone for ice cream :) soo... this is a really short post but we're gonna go now! see ya :D

wow..

so, I've noticed my blogs are crazy long and they're probably making your eyes bleed from reading them (if anyone still reads this blog anymore) I'll probably be posting every day (maybe) so if you're reading this now, there's more to come!

Exams, questions, friends

so today was the first day of my finals, had to wake up early (yuck) and go to school (double yuck) the math test made me wanna pull out my hair and bang my head on the desk, i was SO clueless! but the Spanish exam was SO easy, I finished with 20+ minutes left (it was a 150+ question exam)I finished my book and wrote on my planner xD after that I went to my friend's house and I got to hang out with her and her boyfriend (my best guy friend)we kinda played a question game and it got really deep, but it was fun and we spent like 2 or 3 hrs just asking each other questions. I'm so glad that they're my friends (love you two!!!) I can talk to them about... everything :) we were in the middle of our conversation when my friend's brother came saying someone was here to see us, we went out and two assholes (not mentioning names) came and were... well... assholes! it really pissed me of and I really wanted to tell them to jump in front of a car or something.. ugh, but after they left my friend's boyfriend had to go home because it was 2 pm. so me, my friend, and my friend's brother played badminton, my friend quit because she got tired so me and her brother kept playing, I'm pretty damn good at badminton if the sun's not in my eyes! we spent like.. 3 minutes hitting the Birdie back and forth without dropping it :D I left and now I'm here, typing a story on my blog, because I can, I'm sorry I haven't posted a lot I'm gonna get back into this because summer's here and... yeah!
<3 you all (srry for my rant post, I was REALLY upset, if you haven't read it, don't its a waste of time :P)