I feel like a slut... A horrible lying bad mean slut! I'm not really gonna say WHY but the people involved with the whole thing would understand why :/ UGH! I dunno what to do!!!! and yes, I'm still a virgin, so don't get any ideas! xD

for the longest time I would NOT talk to my ex, I HATED him.. but i had NO reason to.. I really think it's a whole pride thing, even though I broke up with him my pride was still hurt. Everyone kept asking me why I broke up with him was.. and I dunno! I DIDN'T have a reason... at ALL! so I made up a bunch of stuff about him so I would just be left alone and I guess I started to believe the stuff that I said about him and ended up hating him myself... I was a total bitch. after a while hating him was a chore.. if you know me irl you'd know how hard it is for me to hate people.. unless it's my sister of course... I kinda thought about it and I had NO reason to hate him.. he didn't do anything to me and I'm the one who broke up with him... I just am feeling really bad for hating him over NOTHING!

anyways, we went to the park together yesterday, and I had all these flashbacks from when I dated him and I was like WTF??? but... yeah...

more thoughts later~!